In Our Happy Home: Disappointed Husband

A friend of mine said before that she had her husband wait for someone else to help him with something because the baby was sleeping and she had to get dinner ready.

I was so caught of guard by that, like, the baby can sleep in the car and you guys can pick something up to eat. I would never make my hunny wait when I'm available. (outside looking in...you dont know my story)

Then I had my opportunity to do just that and FAILED MAJORLY (hind site)

So this evening I really let my husband down. He needed me to do something for him and I could not bring myself to just say "OK" and move on.   It was 8:45 pm, our visiting family just left from having a late dinner with us.  I thought for sure he was making other plans that excluded me and the kids, but I was wrong. All I could think was this was really going to mess with all the plans I had laid out for the night, and I let him know exactly that.  He got upset.

All I could think was, It's almost 9pm, It's been a busy day, I barely got any sleep last night, Nina barely napped, I really want a cup of tea, I have been trying to make a cup of tea since this morning, the kids need baths, I need to pack your lunch, clean the kitchen, get the laundry away, and I would really like really need to take a shower.

In the middle of him talking and me trying to get him to understand my point, I stopped trying because I could see how upset he was.  I knew what he needed, but at that point he didn't even want my help anymore.

What he needed from me was to say "OK, Tell me what it is you need me to do to make this easier for you."

Do I feel like my thoughts and intentions were selfish; No. Do I feel like I could have and should have taken the selfless route; Yes.

Our marriage has taught me a couple things, one of them being that this relationship I vowed to be in is not for myself, it is for him. Even though our roles and responsibilities are ever changing, I'm in this for him.

Another being that I will often forget the first, but if I take time away to think about his request instead of responding with a rebuttal, I always choose the selfless route.

Queen Elsa said it best, " It's funny how a little distance can make everything seem small". Its the truth.

With that said, when your mate comes with to you with a request, question, idea, or anything take a moment to pause, reflect, work through your own thoughts, and or frustrations internally, put them aside and respond with love.

I'm sorry hunny